Building Our Family

It's certainly been a while since I've written a post about something other than music, and in that time my life couldn't have changed more dramatically.  The girl of my dreams said yes when I asked her to marry me, we bought and moved into our condo in Saratoga Springs, and began our new life together.  We have now been happily married for eight months.

I'll be the first to admit that life was turned on its head for me, as I'm sure it was for my wife.  Going from a life of being single and not having to worry about things like rent or utilities to having the responsibility of providing for a family, paying a mortgage and other bills, and just being the patriarch of a home has yielded its fair share of stress. 

However, through all of those stressful times (which are certainly ongoing), I have been blessed to have a loving wife at my side.  There are few things as comforting as knowing that I have a wife waiting for me at home, with whom I can confide in and who is always willing to listen and to share my burdens.

On the other side of the coin, I am so grateful for the movements when I am able to be there for my wife when she feels stressed or worried, when she falls ill, or just needs someone to hold her. 

Some of the most sacred moments that I've experienced over the past few months were when Whitney or I have felt that overbearing feeling of anxiety or stress, and have turned to either other for help.  I hope that I have been able to help her as much as she had helped me, because she had done so more often than I can count.  

Whitney is incredibly skilled at reading my emotions and knowing how to be there for me. Sometimes she's able to help me understand the anxieties that I'm feeling about work or other worries that I haven't even been able to come to terms with myself.  She is an incredibly good listener and shows an empathy greater than anyone else I know.  Whether this comes from her degree in Psychology or a wife's intuition, I don't know, but I certainly appreciate it. 

While I definitely don't feel like I measure up in terms of knowing the best way to be there for my wife, or to comfort her in the way that she needs most, I am definitely trying my best, and believe that she knows that.

One of my favorite traits that Whitney has is the bravery to always ask for a priesthood blessing whenever she feels sick or is mentally or emotionally strained, or just needs some extra help.  She also has an incredible faith in the Priesthood and in my worthiness as a priesthood holder and knows that the blessings are ore than just words and that they truly have a positive effect in her life.  I am so honored to have this unique opportunity to bless her life, and really look forward to these times. 

Marriage is not an easy thing, but it is definitely an enjoyable thing. When I think back on my life without Whitney by my side, I have no idea how I was able to make it.  She has been my rock as much as I hope that I have been hers. 

We now have the wonderful blessing of knowing that our family is soon to get even larger, as Whitney is currently 14 weeks pregnant.  I will never forget that moment when I got to see the first ultrasound and see the throbbing heartbeat of the small child--our small child--that is growing inside of her. Seeing that heartbeat caused my own to feel like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest, and I was overwhelmed with the feeling of how real the situation had become.  One very powerful thought filled my mind and hasn't left me since that moment:  I'm going to be a father. 

While I'm nervous and anxious about how this huge event will chang my life, and how I will be able to step up to the task of being a father, I am extremely excited and can't wait for the moment to arrive.  I also know that I couldn't have asked for a better mother for my children.  Whitney has been so incredible to me that I have no doubt at all that she will be an exceptional mother.

The time is drawing nearer each day and there is still a lot to do to prepare for the coming of our baby, but I couldn't be happier.  I am so grateful for Whitney and her sacrifices with being pregnant. I love her with all my heart and so am thankful that we are able to make our little Shurtliff family even bigger. 

Always Where You Least Expect

When people would say they found their girlfriend or spouse online, I used to think that was a bit strange.  How could somebody find their perfect match on a website?  It was a few weeks ago that my opinion was completely turned around and I understood completely how possible it was.

Ever since my last relationship broke off a couple of years ago, I had been taking it slow, going on dates here and there.  But although the girls I would date were really nice, I just didn't hit it off with them and the relationships didn't seem to progress.  Then, one day, my sister felt inspired to have me sign up for LDSSingles.com, an LDS dating website.

Because Steph felt so strongly about having me sign up, I created a profile, added a small bio, and threw about ten pictures on there from my Facebook page.  I completed all of the surveys and started looking at the different profiles, but I really didn't have any hope that I would find someone on that website.  That is, until I received a message from a profile with this picture:

I was really intrigued.  Not only was I blown away by how cute the girl in the picture was, I was also surprised that she would send me a message instead of just a flirt (basically sending an emoticon to someone with nothing else).  First, this meant that if she was able to send me a message that she was paying for membership on the website, and second, it meant that she was interested enough in knowing me that she was willing to make the first move and contact me.

I was determined to meet this mystery girl, and decided then and there to find my wallet in order to fully subscribe to the website.  It was torture waiting the two hours for the website to activate the membership before I could respond back.

We started sending each other messages on a regular basis, and the messages themselves got longer and longer.  Even in digital form, we were really able to get to know each other, and it was remarkable how much we had in common.  It seems like every email revealed more similarities between us, whether they were interests and hobbies, or even the fact that we are both left-handed.  I began to look forward to each moment that I would be alerted of a new message waiting for me in my inbox.

The time finally came when we were able to meet up and go on our first date.  I was pretty nervous, but at the same time extremely excited.  I had planned to take her to dinner and then, if things were going well, to maybe get some dessert somewhere as well.  I rang her doorbell and, although I was expecting as much, was shocked when the beautiful girl from the photos, Whitney Day, answered the door.  She was breathtakingly gorgeous and her smile lit up the neighborhood.  I knew then and there that a special night was in store.

We went to Brick Oven in Provo for dinner, where we became so engrossed in conversation that we stayed there for over three hours just talking and getting to know each other.  With each topic, we discovered just how alike we really were and that our standards, beliefs, hopes, dreams, and future plans lined up perfectly.  It was as if I had known her for years, as opposed to days.  This did not feel like a normal first date for me.  Instead of emotionally preparing an exit for myself so as not to get too attached and open myself up for getting hurt, I found myself wondering even while we were together when I would get to see her again.

After we left the restaurant, we decided to go to Macey's in Provo to get some ice cream, and while eating our dessert we were once again amazed at how similar we were in everything we talked about.  It was so surreal to me that someone so beautiful and so amazing could still be single, and that she was interested in spending time with me.

After ice cream we reluctantly decided that it was time to head back to her house and call it a night, as I was leaving on a motorcycle trip the following morning and still hadn't packed.  As we drove back to her house, my mind was racing, wondering how I could ever convince a girl that perfect to want to do something again with me.  I had been hurt in the past in past relationships and it was difficult to come out of that comfort zone again, and I didn't know how to proceed.  I could tell already that I liked her and really wanted to get to know her.

We sat in my car for a little while, talking and playing each other our favorite songs on our iPods.  It was there that I opened up and told her plainly how much I enjoyed the time that we spent together and how grateful I was that she messaged me on that website so that we could have the chance to get to know each other better.  I expressed to her how amazed I was that we had so much in common, and that I really wanted to see her again, to which she readily agreed.

We got out of the car and I began walking her to the door.  We gave each other a hug, and then I did something that was as much a surprise to me as it was to her:  I bent down and gave her a kiss.  I had never kissed anyone on a first date before, but there was something about Whitney and how special she was that drew me in and it just felt like the perfect way to leave her with no doubt about how I felt about her.

Dazed but elated, I said my goodbyes and went back home, truly on cloud nine from the amazing experience that I just had with such an amazing girl.

I left for my motorcycle trip with my cousin and my friend down to Bryce Canyon and during the long hours on the highways, I found my mind constantly drifting back to her, to the wonderful night we shared together the previous day, and how much I already missed being with her.  Throughout the trip we would text each other as much as possible, and it was torturous whenever I would enter an area that had no cell reception.

After returning home from my trip, we quickly made several plans to be with each other again that week.  We spent time watching movies, going to dinner, watching the stars together, and we even got to drive up to Brigham City together to go through the Brigham City Utah Temple open house, which was a wonderful night.  I loved being able to spend so much time with her, having very meaningful conversations and feeling completely at ease and able to be myself around her.

That Friday we had the chance to see a theatrical production of Wait Until Dark in Provo, which was very exciting.  It was also our one-week anniversary of knowing each other beyond emailing back and forth, and Whitney surprised me that night with a CD that she made for me with several songs that reminded her of us, which she organized in order of how our relationship had progressed.  It was so sweet, and the album has scarcely left the CD tray of my car since that time.

But the fun didn't stop there.  The very next day I was invited by her family to accompany them and her to a BYU game in Provo, which was extremely fun.  I hadn't been to a live BYU football game for at least ten years, and it was very nostalgic to enter the stadium again.  But this time I got to enter the stadium hand-in-hand with a very pretty girl, which made it that much better.

The adventures have been never-ending.  Since that week, we have never missed a chance to see each other, spending time with each other every single day, rain or shine, even when we have been exhausted from work.  We have done so much together, and even something as simple as going shopping at the mall has been incredibly fun for me because it means that I get to spend more time with her.

It hasn't been too long that we've known each other in conventional terms, but as I mentioned before, I feel as if I have known her my entire life.  She is the most wonderful girl I have met in my life, and can easily say that she owns the key to my heart and that I love her more than life itself.  With each passing day she grows more beautiful and I see more and more examples of just what an incredible person she is.  It is my ever-present goal to make sure that I am always deserving of her love, and I am willing to do everything I can to make sure that she is happy.

It still shocks me that I could meet the love of my life from an online dating website.  It just sounds bizarre.  But I am so glad that I was able to sign up for that website and have the amazing opportunity to meet Whitney, who has made me happier than I can remember.  I can't wait to see what the future holds in store for us, and I know that there are many, many more adventures to come.

GR33N SHOW!

After we placed first in the first wave of the Rock the River battle of the bands competition, the band and I have been working nonstop to really take to heart the advice that was given to us by the judges, especially because it was advice that we were planning on taking soon anyway.

Which advice am I referring to?  The advice that we really need to (1) decide on a logo/branding for the band, (2) define a band image, and (3) figure out a wardrobe that both unified us as a band yet allowed us to be individuals at the same time.

Believe me when I say that we spent hours and hours working on these together.  Goodnight Annabelle is unique in that band business doesn't just take place when we're all together in one place, but never really stops.  Throughout the week, we send out dozens of different emails to each other, going over branding ideas, creating and deciding on logo and other image designs, writing lyrics, and cover loads of other topics.  We even record and upload music that we write while by ourselves so that the band can listen and add to it so that we can incorporate the ideas during our normal jam sessions.

Over the past few weeks we have accumulated dozens of different logo designs, and after going over all of our options, we finally decided on a couple of variations.

This goal coincided with another project that Byron and I were working on, together with Adam Boyd (my old band Formerly So's sound technician and a very talented graphics designer), to build a sound-activated LED system into the kick drum that would correspond with our music during live sets.  This idea spawned from my cousin Ty Jensen's drum set, which had a white strobe light that flashed according to the bass hits, back when he was in the band New Holland.  He now films music videos for a living in LA, and actually directed my old band's music video.

Many hours were spent researching how best to go about this and a lot of time was wasted in custom wiring jobs before we were able to get it right, but in the end it turned out perfect.  Adam even took a simplified version of our logo and created for us a custom vinyl decal to place on the drum head for the light to shine through.  Also, being the stud that he is, Adam also crafted several similar decals for us to give to fans, and also gave me a decal that I was able to place on my bass amp which matches the drums.



For those of you who may think the name Adam Boyd sounds familiar, this is because it is the same Adam Boyd who recently designed a custom bass guitar for me, which I am in the process of completing by adding electronics, a fretboard, etc.  I hope to get it up and running soon so that I can start using it in performances.

The drum head project turned out so well that, as we deliberated together on how to best unify our appearance, we decided that it would be awesome if we actually used a color-themed image.  We decided to take three neon colors and use those to define the band image, both on stage and in our web presence.

In terms of show apparel, we decided that we would all wear mostly blacks and/or grays, but each with an emphasized article using the color that we had chosen for that day, as we hoped to have shows in which we have different colors at the forefront.  For example, one show would be a "green" show where we would all wear green, another would be a "pink" show, and so forth.

We decided that the Provo Block Party II show with Allred would be our moment to put to the test our little concept.  The number of emails back and forth flared up again as we all scrounged to find the clothing and other items that we needed before the show.  But we also decided to add another piece to the puzzle:  Team GnA

The support that we receive from our fans is simply astounding.  That was one of the first things I noticed when I joined the band, was how dedicated the fanbase was.  So we decided that it was finally time that GnA got its own street team.  First, a Facebook group was created called Friends of GnA, in which anyone could be invited that wanted to.  We posed the question to them of whether or not they wanted to actively help us to promote our shows and help us in developing our band ideas and were shocked at how many instantly wanted to take part.

We had so many requests to play part that Sam was forced to create somewhat of an application form so that we could divide the participation into different tiers:  One overall team, broken down into smaller geographical teams, and the Friends of GnA group for those that wanted to help but didn't have the means to really take an active role as much as the others.

Team GnA was a huge success and continues to be.  As we prepared for the Block Party show, we tried to involve the team as much as possible, and they really stepped up to the plate and exceeded every one of our expectations.  They helped us promote and get people excited for the show, they collaborated with one another, and they even helped hand out swag during the show itself.

The day of the show was pretty exhausting, but was extremely fun.  I work up at EMC in Draper and my shift ends at 5pm, which meant that I put the "rush" in "rush hour" to get to  Sam's house by 5:30, giving us enough time to run through our set and pack our gear before leaving for the show.  And then it started to rain....hard.

Hoping for the best, we loaded up our gear--which was a lot easier than past shows because Jason was able to borrow his in-laws' large van to haul our equipment without getting it all wet--and drove to Provo.  I admit that I began to panic slightly when I saw that the Alpine Village courtyard, where the show was to take place, was empty.  However, we soon found out that the show had been moved inside of Me Crepes, where they had a mid-sized venue.

I actually preferred the show being inside, mainly because the acoustics of the room helped us to hear ourselves a bit better, but also because we would be able to play more to our lighting effects.  Before we went onstage, members of Team GnA handed out neon green glowstick bracelets, and we switched the lighting in the drum head to be a matching green.  As soon as our first song of the night, entitled "How to Control Me," began to play, the lighting was switched to change according to the music.

Overall it was an extremely fun show to play.  The room was filled with energetic fans that sang along to our songs and danced to the music, and we were even able to perform a song that we had written only days before entitled "Dare to Dream," which was such a hit that we plan on playing it at the semi-finals of the Rock the River competition.



We did have our share of snags as well that night, but it still worked out great, all things considered.  We realized when we arrived that the venue did not provide enough cables nor sufficient AC jacks for our instruments, but we were able to eventually get things sorted and ready to go.  Also, most probably don't know this, but Mike--our lead guitarist--was actually very ill the night of our show, and yet he didn't let it show at all during the performance, which makes him a hero in my book.

So, long story short, the Provo Block Party II show was insanely fun to play, and I think our fans had almost as much fun as we did that night.  I am so excited to hit our next show, and even more excited to get into the recording studio in a couple of months to lay down our new tracks so that we can release our new music by the end of the year.

Richfield Roadtrip

Last Saturday, my band Goodnight Annabelle had the unique opportunity to play at a benefit show in Richfield, Utah.  The show was to assist Jaren Barney, a young man who was recently diagnosed with a rare liver disease very shortly after receiving an LDS mission call.

This show was a very neat experience, as it allowed the band to revisit its roots, with Richfield being only minutes away from Annabelle, the small town from which the band got its name.  Although I didn't know anybody down there, it was still nice to be a part of the reunion.

The band met up around 1pm to pack up to leave for the show.  This show was to be different from others that we have played, namely because we would essentially be constructing the stage using our own PA equipment.  We packed up everything that we had, including a tiny PA system that I had purchased over six years ago, which we were able to use as monitors for the stage.

It took several vehicles for us to make it down there, and I rode down with Jason--the band's keyboardist--and his wife Aubrey.  It was a fun ride, with Jason and I being able to discuss several musical ideas and concepts along the way.  Byron and Sam, who also rode together, had an equally productive journey, having brainstormed quite a bit about different logo and band image concepts that we were able to discuss after the show.

It took much longer than expected to prepare the stage, but had a lot of help from the other band that shared the stage with us, Chasing Chance.  We combined equipment and were able to daisy-chain the amps to create a very full, dual-channel sound to fill the area...which was a good thing because we had to compete against a pretty strong wind.

First on the stage was Shay Markham, a seventeen-year-old musician from Provo.  This was her first large gig, but she did amazing and everyone was extremely impressed.  Even with the wind blowing in her face, she was able to do a wonderful job on all of her songs.

Next on stage was Chasing Chance, a band whose members were friends with members from my band.  This band was just recently formed, all of its members having recently returned from LDS missions, but they blew me away at how talented they were.  They put on a spectacular show and I was sad to see it end.

Finally our time had come and we were able to take the stage.  We played a full set of about eight songs, beginning--as has been the recent tradition--with our new song "How To Control Me," which is always a fun song with which to begin a show, as it brings a lot of energy with it.

We also had the chance to invite Shay back on stage to sing our original "Fight What They Say" with us, which turned out great, as you can see in the currently-unreleased video below:



We ended our set with tow of our most popular songs, "Stay" and "Memorable," which can both be found on our newest EP called "Just a Memory" and had some great crowd participation.  We love ending our sets with "Memorable," which has become another GNA tradition, and it definitely did not disappoint that night either.



Even though it was such a long drive to and from the event, and despite all of the heavy lifting and time that it took to set up and tear down the stage, it was still a very fun show and it was great to know that we were helping out and contributing to the best of our abilities to such a wonderful cause.

The Guest Star

Well, in about ten minutes I will be leaving to play a show that is unlike any other that I've played: We will be traveling down to Richfield, UT, to play in a benefit show for Jaren Barney, a young man who was recently diagnosed with a rare liver disease very soon after receiving a mission call.

Although I've played several benefit shows, this will be the first in which we will have a guest performer singing with the band.  This past Wednesday, we asked Shay Markham (who will also be performing that night) to join us at band practice so that she could sing along with Sam at the show during one of our songs.



Shay is extremely talented and I am very excited for tonight!  It is going to be such a fun show, and for such a worthy cause!

Rocking the Riverwoods (Musical Rebound)

After my old band Formerly So broke up in early 2011, I wondered if I would ever have the chance to play in a music group again.  Music has always been a huge part of my life, and I loved the time that I spent playing in bands.  As I have mentioned several times before in past blog posts, I find that music and performing in shows is my "out," where I can completely be myself.

After the band broke up, my friend--and Formerly So's vocalist Brayden Green--and I got together with his cousin Andrew in an attempt to write some music and perhaps one day be able to perform again.  Shortly after, Jason Stapleton, Formerly So's old keyboardist and one of my best friends, returned from an LDS mission to Romania and he joined us in music writing.

Unfortunately, the dream never came to fruition as schedules and other conflicts got in the way of being able to accomplish much in terms of music, and the project coasted to a stop.

I continued to play my bass and acoustic guitar to my iPod by myself, not wanting to give up the talent completely, and met together with Jason a few times after work (both of us working as web developers at a web hosting company in Orem).  I even kept an eye on CraigsList, hoping to find another musical opportunity that I could join in on.

That day eventually came when I saw an ad for a band that I had heard of called Goodnight Annabelle, who was in need of a bassist.  I contacted them via email, and immediately bought all three of their albums on iTunes and learned to play most of the songs.

I heard back from the band about a month later, and they asked me if I would like to audition with them.  While speaking with Byron, the guitarist, he also asked if I knew anyone who knew how to play the keyboards, as they were looking to find a keyboardist as well.  Lucky for him, I happened to be sitting in the cubicle next to Jason at the time, who was more than excited at the chance to practice with them.  We auditioned together that very night, and became the newest members of the band.

I was so lucky to find such an awesome band, and one that is already so well established and has such a large fanbase.  The members of the band are great people and so much fun to spend time with, and we have accomplished a lot together in the short time that Jason and I have been with them.

One of those accomplishments took place last Saturday, when we were able to participate in the Rock the River 2012 Battle of the Bands.  The competition, which is still underway until the end of July, took place at the gazebo in front of the Tucanos restaurant in Provo, UT.

This was a competition unlike any that I have experienced.  I have participated in several Battle of the Band competitions in the past few years, Formerly So even placing first in the College of Eastern Utah Battle of the Bands competition a few years ago, but this was the first contest that actually had a panel of celebrity judges that would watch and critique each band's performance.

The judges of our wave of the competition were Chunga from 101.9 The Edge, Amy from The Whits, and Ryan Innes as the guest judge.  Hearing the rather blunt comments and critiques from the judges on the two bands that played previous to us, we were more than a bit nervous to hit the stage.  However, when we took the stage and were greeted by so many cheers of fans that came from all over, our fear melted away and soon became one of the most memorable shows that I have ever played in my life.

We were utterly amazed at how many people came to see us...especially those that came for the band in general just as fans, having no connection to any one member of the band (i.e. family member, friend, etc.).  In fact, we even had the opportunity to hang out with several of the fans before and after the show, which was a super cool experience.

After our set and some deliberation from the judges, we were shocked to find that we were announced the winners of this wave of the competition.  While we were given some constructive criticism from the judges that we all took to heart, they were very impressed with our music and genuinely seemed to believe that we have a bright future with our band.

After the competition had ended for the night, we were actually able to hang out with the judges for a little while, and were given some great advice on how to improve as a band on many different levels.  The advice was priceless, and we have been working on everything they told us from that point forward, and are very pleased with the changes.  The judges were really great people.

This has been such an awesome experience for me to be playing in a band again, and especially to have found the perfect band for me: one in which each member has become one of my closest friends, where I am able to play in the same band as my pal Jason, where everyone is equally motivated in moving the band forward, and where I truly see myself going places musically.

I can't wait to see what my musical future has in store for me.

My Sister's Big Day

On May 3rd, 2012, my sister Stephanie was sealed in the Salt Lake Temple to the love of her life, Shaun Marsh.

We left home, a bit worried that we would make it to the ceremony on time, as there was a major accident on the freeway on the route we were planning to take.  However, we were able to take an alternate route that got us to our destination surprisingly quick.

This day was a completely new experience for me for several reasons.  First, I had never stepped foot inside of the Salt Lake Temple, and was immediately impressed with the historic and sacred building.  Second, although I had previously attended a sealing ceremony in which an adopted child was sealed to his parents, I had never attended a temple marriage.

It was such an incredible experience.  My dad's cousin, Ken Brailsford, who recently returned from being a mission president, was able to perform the ceremony, and did a fantastic job.  I am very impressed with how he performed and don't think anyone could have done a better job.

Although the day was incredibly long, with several hours of watching the photographer take picture after picture, followed by the reception that night, it was so wonderful to see a couple that was so utterly in love one with another, and to be witness to the happiness that they were experiencing and would continue to experience.

I am so proud of my sister.  I find myself being incredibly jealous of Shaun, because he was able to find such a wonderful young woman to be his wife.  Steph has always been an example to me and, although she is my younger sister, I have always looked up to her throughout my entire life.  She is such a wonderful and caring person, and Shaun is lucky to be her eternal companion.

I am also very happy that Steph was able to find such a great person like Shaun.  Although it has been a somewhat short time since I first met him, I feel like we are best friends, and have no doubt in my mind that he will treat Steph like a princess and be the best husband that he can be to her.  He is a great guy and is also a great example for me.

As I continue in my life, I only hope that I can find someone to become my wife and eternal companion who will make me as happy as these two are, and that I will be able to return the favor in full.


My Facebook album for the wedding day with additional photos can be viewed here.